You lovely people .. Hollie and I have taken an awful lot of comfort in your posts and just knowing that someone out there ... a stranger too, actually is sitting there praying and thinking of us gave us strength and comfort.

At this moment in time .. re. Hollie .. she is getting on fine. The timing of her boyfriend's let down was damn hurtful, and she has come to realise that he is not the sort of man she wants as a boyfriend if he can act that way and I'm afraid, even if he comes back crawling on his knees, too much has been hurt.

As for the other .. she says it's dealt with in her head ... the counsellor at Uni has helped immensely and she is still seeing her.

I took her to the Doctor who has given her two week's worth of anti depressents, the main effect being sleepiness, which was needed, and I am ringing for an appointment with a lady Doctor on Tuesday. (In the UK it is very difficult to make appointments with a certain doctor unless it is weeks ahead ... so this will be an "emergency" appointment.

As for me ... I'm sop happy to say my hatred has gone. I am still angry and I still have burts of REAL FIERY ANGER, but I don't feel that desperate hatred any more. I like to think your thoughts and prayers helped in this way .. and it may sound silly, but I could "feel" your thoughts and love.

Sadly, one of Hollie's old school friends died last week, so that has added another bit of sadness .. he was only 19 and was climbing a mountain with his friend in Cumbria when adverse weather conditions parted them. The weather was too bad for rescue and his body was retrieved the following day. He was a lovely lad .. who I have never heard a bad word said against anyone .. also one of my children from my mid day supervisor days.

Life is a mountain ..
With nice flat bits at times ..
I wanna reach a flat bit!

Op pencilled in for 1st February .... am on count down, but wont believe it till I wake from the anasthetic!