dear friends

it is a painful kind of day
my neck head and body troubles
didn't go anywhere
if anything it is worse
just have something else
occupying the brain but
my pain is spreading
so as soon as i can
i will need to find a
neurosurgeon
and talk about the damage
and pain that this one has stripped me of
not only my paycheck last of my
dignity although it too does not
define me it is not my bliss
cooking is had a deli at one time
my quality of life gone like that
are now in a studio apartment
i choose never to marry again
worked all my life around my children
still working nights
don't know what is down the road with all this ****
i cannot be without medicine
i am on a leave from my job
bed ridden most times
it hurts to even do that
i need to contort my body
so i am not in pain
and type with struggles
not so much during
but afterwards the throbbing
pain i feel travel
up and down up and down a heart beat
of its own
and the cracking now there is a lot of that quickly
till then i take my meds
as per last ct-scan i haven't
fused yet
interesting what one
can or can't imagine
all i had to do (AS PER DOCTORS ORDERS)
test that showed
must have surgery
and then a second one
and make things worse
i hope my message
i feel good with
my paper trail that tells a hell of
a story make sure your doctor
not only answers your questions
but if he wouldn't mind putting that
in writing
yeah me!
ASSHOLE
i am sorry
i curse him everyday
he took some of my working parts
from me
if a doctor seems annoyed
when you ask questions
you don't want them as a doctor
regardless of status or reputation
he is not worthy of such respect or title
the fact he let the hematoma
go on for so long before draining
2 times
once before leaving
after two days home
it swelled like a half of
a grapefruit
oh my word
the pain
i delivered 4 babies natural
until we got to hospital to drain
i believe it needed draining again
refused
i have permanent pain at site
and some jaw line
bottom line done with him
must start all over
your all the greatest