To talk about our pain and lose friends, or not to talk about pain and hopefully keep them - THAT is the QUESTION!
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to Suffer in Silence,
or to take Umbrage against a Sea of Ignorance,
and by doing So End Social Interaction....
(or something like that....)

Don't mind me; I'm experiencing a bout of cerebral flatulence.

Deja vu - Have we been through this movie before? I can be a slow learner at times. I drove away a lot of folks by mistakenly thinking that when they asked how I was doing, they really meant it, and I answered candidly. Eventually I wised up and now confine my pain-palavering to pain-pals, support groups (like here) and those oh-so-few who, after I tell them I'd rather not talk about it, convince me that they really DO want to know...

I'm at peace with this situation now. I think I'm happier for not having/wanting to talk about my pain/medical conditions at every opportunity/social event. I thought about handing/sending some folks one of those letters floating around the net telling them what it's like to be us, with the list of umpteen things they should/shouldn't ask/say.... but that seems kinda... weird (to me, anyway - not my style, I guess).

I can't blame people for acting, feeling, and/or talking the way they do. Insensitive as they may seem, they're being very human. Like the doctor who admits to being afraid of us because he can't help us
http://www.medpagetoday.com/Blogs/21266?
I think many of our friends/family/acquaintances are scared silly of us - knowing there's nothing they can do, and terrified that they could wind up in the same situation.

I am thinking about printing up some kind of awareness card though... a business/calling card - sized thing with some talking points about chronic/intractable pain - maybe individualized. Maybe (to cut the tension) put one of those lists of "Things NOT to Say..." on the back. It's smaller/handier/friendlier than a letter, anyway.

Whaddaya think?

ElizaJane, from where I'm sitting/reading, you've got a lot more to feel good about there than not. Keep on Ventin', and Illegitimi non carborundum!

Doc