I read so much about bipolar people who work and fight through the depression, they are so strong. I am weak. I don't see anything about people with bipolar who dont work and are on disability long term. Some get on disability and then get off and go back to work. I did try to go back to work once but quit because I just can't handle it. I had a great career but now it is lost. It is the only thing that I ever succeeded in life and the only way I could ever support myself and now it is gone. No and one will ever hire me in my field because I have been out so long. Even if they did I would start to have problems after the stress built up over working full time. And I loved my job. It was the last thing I did in this life that I enjoyed. I am afraid I will lose my SSDI and will have to kill myself. Sometimes I think I deserve this because I won't work and so many with bipolar struggle it out. I get depressed anyways and I think of suicide a lot and now I think that I will have to do it a lot. Is any one else in this situation? Does anyone understand?