Hi. I worked my entire life as a bipolar depressant and it was not easy. Last fall I tried to commit suicide. While in recovery and getting back to a place where I could be a good worker bee, I was hit by a car while riding my bicycle. Now I have a traumatic brain injury and will never have to go back to that job that I hated. The point here is that it isn't about bravery, it's about doing what you can to survive for you. If working makes you more crazy, that job is NOT for you. Maybe your skill set is better for something done from home or with a compassionate group. There are resources who understand.
When I was hospitalized, I was amazed at all of the people who were in and out of the hospital on a regular basis, too. I never wanted to be there -- especially against my will. You are as strong as you want to be. Trust me. I think that getting hit by the car was in some ways a favor. I will never be the same, but I am no longer crazy, really. I am challenged differently. Good luck to you.
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Originally Posted by acemagoo
I read so much about bipolar people who work and fight through the depression, they are so strong. I am weak. I don't see anything about people with bipolar who dont work and are on disability long term. Some get on disability and then get off and go back to work. I did try to go back to work once but quit because I just can't handle it. I had a great career but now it is lost. It is the only thing that I ever succeeded in life and the only way I could ever support myself and now it is gone. No and one will ever hire me in my field because I have been out so long. Even if they did I would start to have problems after the stress built up over working full time. And I loved my job. It was the last thing I did in this life that I enjoyed. I am afraid I will lose my SSDI and will have to kill myself. Sometimes I think I deserve this because I won't work and so many with bipolar struggle it out. I get depressed anyways and I think of suicide a lot and now I think that I will have to do it a lot. Is any one else in this situation? Does anyone understand?
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