When people tell me they experience the stuff I am going through and I know for a fact they have no idea - like when they say, I forget why I walk into rooms or I forget to bring stuff or whatever it is - they are comparing themselves to themselves and how they believe and know they should function.

We can tell whether what we are experiencing would have been normal behavior for us before our injuries and that's why this stuff is frustrating to us, because it's not normal for us! And it's especially not normal to happen 100 times a day, or 100 times every few hours, which is what does happen to us!

I tend to think that people tell us these things in an effort to make us feel better, they want us to feel like a part of the group so we don't feel like we are so abnormal.

Yes, it makes us feel like they are dismissing our experience, emotions and frustration about these things, but they have NO idea that they're are doing that when they say things like that.

I used to be very hyperactive and this injury has made me very tired most of the time. Someone at work the other day suggested I drink some coffee to help me function in a more energetic way. Well, instead of explaining to them how bad caffeine can be for people recovering from brain injuries, or how caffeine won't even touch the fatigue I'm dealing with, I just thanked them because I know they feel helpless and really want to help me and by making a little suggestion like that they feel like they contributed in a helpful way.

I think there are very few people who can understand in any way what it is to be dealing with something like this.

I've found that only my friends with MS can relate to it at all.

I think people who've had to deal with major health issues, like cancer, can relate to some aspects of what we are dealing with.

But the majority of people just don't get it. And I don't think there is any way they can really get it without experiencing it themselves. There is a reason tbi is called an invisible injury, because people just don't see it.

I'm sorry to hear your friends are throwing you into situations you're clearly not ready for.

One of the tactics I use to avoid doing things I know will be bad for me and decrease my speech and cognitive functioning is the just blame it on my Dr. "My Dr. doesn't want me to be doing that... it's bad for me right now. Hopefully some time in the future" Or "My Dr. says if I do that it will take me longer to get better." etc. That way I don't even have to go into why I can't or anything else about it if I don't have the energy to really explain it.

I used to work a lot of overtime and now I am only at work part time, but some people I work with ask me to stay a little later, or change my schedule to fit their needs, and I admit I have tried it and it messes me up big time! I told my Dr. and she wrote a note that says, schedule may not be altered in any way. So, I can just blame her...

My boyfriend always tells me when we have miscommunications that it's not my fault. He says the fault lies on the guy who caused the car accident I was in. We try to blame all the arguments we have on him too.