one person cannot fix the problem. It has to be a joint effort where both of you strive for the same thing. If only one person is ready to change and admit a problem, how far do you think you would get? You are being abused emotionally, this is not your fault dear woman. You are trying to find excuses for "his" behavior. Dear Adelina, get that therapist, and tell her or him everything. You need someone in your corner right now, so that you don't continue to take all the blame for this situation. That comes from despiration to make this relationship right. He has to be that willing partner. I so wish you were not in so much pain. I am praying for you. ginnie