My bf & I live in different states... it hasn't been a problem till his recent concussion mainly because I'm here & feeling helpless. It's a complicated situation but I can't visit him right now... too many obstacles. He was this loving, thoughtful, attentive man who has since become someone I feel I don't know. I know he is in tremendous pain & depression. His short term memory comes & goes & from what I can tell he's lost about 2 weeks prior to his injury. Some days are better than others - sometimes he remembers things that happened hours ago, other times he doesn't remember what we spoke about 5 mins earlier.

I can tell he's angry about everything & I get that this is normal. He seems to have lost sensitivity to the emotional needs of others, which again is normal but hard to swallow. He doesn't come out & tell me he loves me unless I say it to him. I'm assuming he needs to be triggered to say it. Yes, I'm being selfish. Yes, he has bigger issues to worry about then my emotional needs. I completely get that but it's still hard. I won't dare ever mention this to him.

I feel I'm supportive & understanding to everything he is going through-I remain positive when speaking with him & always try to tell him things are going to take time but he will get better & we just need to stay strong but emotionally I'm a complete mess. I think I've settled into some sort of depression. I can cry at the thought of him & it's not just tearing up. Full fledged tears streaming out of eyes crying. I basically stick to my everyday routine, the way my life was before he hurt himself. I really don't go out & prefer to be home in bed researching or working on my journal that I started within the past few weeks. I needed a way to keep track of his signs, symptoms, & behavior patterns as well as my own thoughts.

I feel like a part of me has died since this has happened to him. I don't know how to fix this & feel helpless. A friend of mine suggested I go to a therapist but I don't see how that will do any good. I'm not interested in being told I need to step back & let him get better or something along those lines.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for on here. I don't expect anyone to reply. I guess I just want to get this out there & not feel like I'm sheltering myself in my journal.