Thank you for writing this Annie.

Sorry for the putting it so "brutally". I didn't mean to...I've been having a difficult time dealing with my life as it falls apart. It is hard starting over at 40...but I don't think I need to explain to anyone here.

This forum has helped me more than anyone else. I think if all I had to go on is my neuro who tells me to take Mestinon and I'll be able to live a normal life...I wonder if I might be suicidal by now, but I'm not. I'm still fighting for a way to live through this mess. I've learned so much about how to live and I have to thank you guys for that.

I do wonder at times if the medical world understands how the immune system really works. If only we could figure out what happens when people do go into remission, or when our symptoms are minimal. I wonder. I wonder if there is a part of our immune system that stops our body from attacking itself, and if there is a way to strengthen that part of the immune system.

I do think it is good to be spiritual. I have been meditating a lot and am listening to the inner voices and my body. I have some strange yet amazing (to me) poetry and art I've created based on my meditation, like nothing I've seen before. I've really been feeling better as far as my MG symptoms go (ignoring my finances and the cleanliness of my house - I have spiders living and weaving webs on my ceiling and I've decided they can stay, lol).

I've also decided to pick up my previous work in herbalism...don't laugh, I've found some wonderful help from my plant friends. Maybe I can make a living this way somehow, I don't see how yet but am hoping, plus maybe it will be a way to help others. I would be much worse without my herbal teas, I've experimented. I'll make a post on some of my findings about plants. I'd love to be able to help others somehow, and be useful in my life.

Along with spirituality, I think making major life changes might help us, or at least me. It could be that the things we do, eat, or even think a lot could be part of the reason we have developed MG. Maybe we need to think differently, like Annie said...love and forgive people, let the negative things roll on by us...maybe it will help. I know I feel better on days when I am happy, when I live in the moment and don't think about tomorrow or any troubles or problems around me.

Thank you Annie and everyone here for your support and help.

(Annie, thanks for mentioning my name...I've been feeling so lost recently it felt like someone threw me a lifesaver, lol.)

I want to say that I have love for all of you, even if I'm not too good at saying so.