I sure wish I could bring a smile to your face...
Everyone deserves to be happy, yet depression has a way of stealing that away, leaving us with a cloud hanging overhead. Oh how I know and my heart truly goes out to you...
In your introductory post you mentioned that you are unable to take anti-depressants. Sometimes these meds can actually make things worse for some people. Have you tried any other forms of therapy, such as biofeedback? My psychiatrist has just recently introduced this to me and I'm giving it an honest try.
I know how difficult and frustrating it is to be sad, even when it seems we have everything in life we could ask for. I battled guilty feelings because of this because I knew there were so many others who had it worse off than me.
One of my biggest problems was that I would worry too much about what others thought of me. This was due more to anxiety than depression tho, but once I've got a grip on not really caring what others think, it has given me a better self-esteem. Our self esteem often feeds right off of depression rendering us feeling completely useless.
I hope this is not happening to you. But even so, please know that you DO have worth and when you look in the mirror, you should see a person with much beauty and purpose looking right back at you.

I'm always here to talk, and I know others will be along as well.
You aren't alone in this.

Your friend,
Rae