Heh, i am not emotionally safe but so what. I am fairly empathic but often can separate my own emotions from those i "absorb." I cried all through reading your note and that's ok. It was a note to cry about.No need to explain it. It is a gift of Mother Nature. Keep it always close to your heart, and wrap it in a baby blanky of hope. If you remind your brother of this connection with his child, of the bright lit eyes... do it in a non pressuring way... i don't know how his manias fly but if he is at all labile... or the mania starting to degrade (eg, i often get dysphoric before passing on to depression or euthymia. i wouldn't want for something,even beautiful, like that to set him off feeling guilty, for not being able to "step up to the plate," or feeling neglectful. Your call. You know him... just wanted to relate how things sometimes go for me.

Bizi hits nail on head wrt frequency of cycling and prognosis.. The longer an episode lasts, and the more episodes occur, the worse the illness becomes. This had often been attributed to the kindling theory, as with epilepsy. i am not sure on recent research though - whether this has been scientifically proven or disproven now. But it does make sense.

Kindling as it was explained to me by former pdoc: conceptually, each time an area of the brain becomes overactive (episode), that area is sensitized and easily "set alight" again whereupon it it "kindles" other areas... the threshold for an episode lowers. The kindling theory of bipolar was borrowed from what occurs in Epilepsy - the more and the worse seizures you have, the more you're gonna have, and each time worse since more of the brain is "kindled" and so "lights up" each time for it. ahh... google. i found this if you want to read more on the

The "Kindling" Model in Bipolar Disorder

kindling and prevention: treat each episode ASAP, including hypomania, if you can catch it. if your brother is full manic right now, can you somehow get him help right away, without a lockup? w/o waiting for his desperate call? With the bond you describe with him, could you get him to a voluntary checkin? He needs help yesterday.

I'm sorry if it sounds sorta pushy. I feel so badly you are witnessing all this... people around me firsthand have told me how hard it is, and how helpless one can feel. But i'm glad you are there for him, and I just know he is too.

I am glad he has you for a sister, and that you can care for his little man. You are helping so much already. Remember to give yourself some "me time" too. Time to breathe. Time to put your nose full into a tea rose and breath in that perfume, deeply... i.e. remember the oxygen mask principle.



~ waves ~
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