You may always post here. This is a compassionate group of people. I have no idea really how to help you. I sure can hear your cry with what you did, and the pain of RSD. You need a physician who will treat you, no matter what you did in the past. I don't want you to go to round two, because you can't stand the RSD pain. Is there a Psych you could go to, that might have compassion and allow you the medicines to control your pain? There has to be an answer, and I hope you get some other posts to help direct you. I am here for you if you ever need to talk. I care about you, and I am sorry for your pain, your hurt, your sorrow over your condition. I hope you keep reaching out for help. You will be in my thoughts, and from now on always in my prayers ginnie