Hi,

I am so glad i found this forum. I was in an accident in november, I hit some ice and drove into a ditch. I hit the left side of my head pretty hard. When I was first injured I got Cat Scans at the hospital and they told me it was a concussion.

I felt like I was on a boat rocking back and forth for the first month. Stabbing pain behind my eyes. I feel like I was rolling end-over-end when I lay down and got very little sleep. I havent had a dream since. I couldn't focus and even a ten minute walk made my vision foggy. I would "zone out" often. My Family doctor told me to rest and that is about it.

Two months later, I am still spinning when I am in bed. I look like a zombie with huge circles under my eyes. I really have been trying to fake happy for work and do what I can. I have felt pressure to come back too soon. I am worried about my job now because they have had to arrange things to cover for my absence. I don't think they believe me anymore. What is really funny about that is I have become pretty indifferent about what they think. I just don't care and I cared so much before this all happened.

What I am really worried about is that I feel very edgy, paranoid then terribly depressed. My emotions are a roller coaster. Before the accident I was usually very happy with alot of energy but I just can't get there anymore. It feels like I haven't had a genuine smile or a good laugh since. Things people say just pass me by and It seems like I just don't react at all anymore. I feel changed.

I don't get out much, I don't socialize they way I did and I don't even want to try anymore.

The reason why I am posting is because I needed to express how I feel. I am trying hard to fake being well so I can move on. I don't think I am fooling anyone.

I am back to work but I have no drive and I am doing a pretty bad job overall.

I am posting because I needed to see how I feel in writing. I don't think it is right that my doctor is telling me to just wait. What should I do? I can't cross my fingers and hope it will get better.

I can't afford to take any more time off work. I feel stuck having to just try and keep it together. It seems like a sinking ship though.

Just some thoughts.

I am not going to edit that...it made sense to me at the time.

This forum is exactly what I needed, thanks.

P