You have a lot on your plate justtired and I'm sorry you lost your mother recently..that's a tough one. And job hunting in this economy is surely depressing. Trust me when I tell you that your daughters will not understand. My only son killed himself 22 years ago this month and it changed our family forever. The overwhelming guilt for his action practically killed me too. It took me years to accept what he did and to forgive him.

Circumstances can change...but suicide is a forever decision. I'm glad you are talking here...people cannot help you if they don't know how you feel...pretending to be fine when you aren't is a bad idea.