Dear Bobby

i wrote because a couple years back we had corresponded for a while. i had got some pretty long emails... and replied, and then nothing. sent some other short things later, including a birthday note one year. nothing. i know my mail can bounce sometimes without notice but unlikely they all did. i wondered if i was being "dropped" and basically asked if i were still considered a friend... and said i was sad if not... or something.

the reply was overall "cool" in tone, in character with the person. they expressed surprise at my wonderings, saying that i was not specifically being ignored "or anything" and that they just aren't much into talking by email (but, you would not have guessed that from length and detail of the earlier mails! ). so i am at a loss.

oh, one more thing. i was invited to write, and share about my own life. that is positive, and it is not the first time either. i am at a loss about that since i feel like my life is that of a total bum/loser. moreover, i don't feel like pouring out my sorrows or whatever, if this person is not going write me back for 3-4 years. that's not... "correspondence."

so i feel ambivalent... partly reassured and encouraged, but also partly set aside.

i have not written back yet. i am not sure what to write. i might just write that i am not sure what to write / how much.

i have already "sat on this" for almost a month.

~ waves ~