Hi, new, of course, but utterly lost.

I'm going to present a laundry list of my issues so that I can get help from the experienced about where to most productively navigate here in a comprehensive snapshot.

I've been treated for severe depression for 7.5 years now; mild depression longer. Declared not bi-polar but bi-polar 2--I don't go manic, but hypomanic. Degrees of OCD. Went thru ECT in Sep. 2003; have been on 35+ meds in past 7 years to ittle avail. I've been less suicidal since ECT. Depression led me to drop out of a PhD program about halfway thru; I was struggling greatly. I haven't worked/done school since then--2000.

I've just come across the TLE/Geschwind stuff; having come across hypergraphia yesterday. That describes me well. For the other parts of Geshwind: Very philosophical, extreme attention to detail, extremely short-tempered. Hyper-sexuality mediated by lithium somewhat.

My excessive writing has caused me major problems on-line; to many-too-long posts to lists. Linked with an extremely volatile and short temper, I often have reacted knee-jerk with angry missives. Too often to have gotten me thrown out of places and groups.

Interested to read Flaherty and LaPlante. Very intrigued by the idea of TLE as possible cause of my problems. I've been on a number of the epliespsy related meds as part of my depression treatment.

One thing I've not found referred to but only once briefly, re: TLE/Geschwind's elsewhere: problems communicating in general. In odd ways this applies to me. I'm considered extremely articulate--often, and also so as a writer, but........I have trouble communicating with others because they don't seem to understand me in major ways sometimes. I have an extremely high-IQ and my thinking is very, very abstract--even for PhD's that I encountered--and so much so that when I communicate the way that comes naturally to me, hardly anyone understands me. To compensate for that, I become extremely concrete, which drives people nuts. It drives me nuts to need to "translate" the thoughts in my head so often into terms that others will understand--in major distinct changes of processing the ideas. Obviously the problem is less pronounced the brighter the audience, part of why grad school was so refreshing, but even then, since I'm considered a very original thinker (borne out by feedback from others & work to significant degrees), it can still be a very difficult thing.

A prof in grad school was trying to point out this problem to me--complimentarily about the abstract side since the more abstract the better, generally for what I was into, with scholarship--and I finally made the breakthrough when I recognized and stated the excesses of both ends and inability to modulate. She said "yes!" She had no solution, but to say otherwise that she thought no one would understand me (re: my intellectual work and theories) until I could put all of my work together in my dissertation.

Is this abstract/concrete thing an issue noted anywhere?

Thanks for bearing with me. After years of problems, I'm encountering new thoughts about what might be going on. I want to bring these things up with my psychiatrist; thoughts on what I could show him/bring him, suggest/say?

For the first time in a long time I at least have a new avenue to pursue, which begets hope.
John