hello Justice
so sorry to hear of all you have been suffering
there are many members here who understand.
You will find some of them in our Survivors of Suicide Forum at
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=29
and others in our BiPolar Forum at
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=38
I know you will find much caring support here