Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark in Idaho
I doubt many even consider the reciprocity issue. There is a saying, "You'll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do." This is considered by many to be a truthful fact of life.
Unless we empower them with a way to help us, they will never make an effort to help us.
Very few people have the integrity to stay around long enough to make a difference in our lives even when they do know how to help.
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I was referring to reciprocity in a broader and more abstract sense, such as the belief that people get what they deserve and reap what they sow. Perhaps 'reciprocity' isn't quite the right word for expressing that point. In any case, I can come up with no other explanation as to why so many people, without any evidence, just assert that if someone is suffering, then he or she must have done something bad to deserve it. Not only can I think of no other explanation, but what I was saying about some people's inability to accept undeserved suffering (either their own or others') explains this behavior nicely.
It's also interesting that many people will think the same thing about themselves: If they are the victim of a tragedy, they will think that they must have done something to deserve it. In fact, I think that most of us have a tendency to at least sometimes wonder whether we are being punished in response to something we did. This is a widespread, cross-cultural phenomenon that seems to have deep roots in the human psyche.
In any case, Mark, I appreciate your less cynical perspective (than mine) on how we should understand others' lack of concern, and what we can do about it.
Pete