I do understand. So, so, understand. My family's activities have to revolve around me. All activities depend on my pain level; whether we go to a function, stay home, whatever, everything depends on how I feel or how well I can cover up my pain. So when I think I can do something and we say yes, then I find out it is too much it seems like such a large failure. It makes me just shrivel up inside. I literally huddle-over and feel very, very small. So I can understand how you feel. I dread the time when we finally have the money to go to Disneyland, because you really have to have endurance to go there, and I know I will end up in a wheelchair. And like you it will make me realize what my situation really is. I have had to really work at accepting my situation, I've only had pn for 3 years and for the longest time I was sure it was going to go away; you know, denial. Now I'm beginning to guess that this is just my new life. I am sorry your going through it. I really do empathize with you! It can really catch you off guard sometimes when you see you own limitations. It happened to me the other day: I saw a couple of other moms getting ready for a fundraiser and I used to be a very involved mom, especially with fundraisers. Now I have to accept my limitations and one is that I can't be on all these volunteer committees. It was very hurtful to me to not be involved and I just wanted to go home and crawl into bed and hide. I understand that this condition can get discouraging. It really, really can. At least I hope you haven’t experienced this: It has even got to the point in my family where I am used as an excuse to not attend those "undesirable events" by my husband and his aunt (the caregivers for me and my children) even when I feel fine -which sort of is annoying ! Please know there is a ton of empathy here!