1. I am so sorry that you're having to suffer like this. Nobody should have to go through that.

2. I am spending my days pretty much the same day you are spending yours: sitting in the dark by myself, listening to audiobooks, posting on here, "reading" posts via my text-to-voice software, etc. I can't even look at the screen briefly without two pairs of sunglasses and a transparent yellow plastic cover over my screen. I can't read, can't watch TV, shouldn't drive (but do so anyway because I have no choice), can hardly listen to any music, can only have limited conversations with people, etc.

3. Before this happened, I had already been suffering from sometimes crippling OCD for 15 years--and nothing I have dealt with since my brain injury has come close to being as excruciating and agonizing as my severe OCD episodes. I also had chronic fatigue syndrome for 10 years before acquiring my brain injury. I have dealt with both of these conditions primarily by myself; I have been isolated for the majority of the past 12 years.

4. When I got my brain injury (by being rear-ended while sitting at a red light), I was 4 months away from defending my dissertation and getting my Ph.D, which I had been working on in poverty for the past 8 years. Before that, I had already nearly had to drop out twice because of the OCD and CFS. Now I can barely read or write because of the light sensitivity and dizziness, and still haven't defended my dissertation. My career is in pretty serious jeopardy.

5. Despite all that, there are many, many reasons for me to go on living, and there will come a better day in my life. Five years from now, I will be in a better place and will be so glad that I didn't give up. You are younger than me, and have A LOT of life ahead of you. Chances are excellent that you will recover at least most of what you have temporarily lost due to PCS, and will be able to go on leading your life and perhaps accomplish great things. So you absolutely may not give up. You owe it to yourself and all the other people you will help in your life to keep fighting and never give up.

6. I'm going to post soon about James Stockdale, who was a POW in Vietnam for seven years and endured unspeakable suffering, including 2 years of solitary confinement. After the war, he went on to become Ross Perot's vice presidential nomination and wrote several books.