Welcome to the autism forum, I am sorry for how much trouble the school is giving you. It sounds to me like your dd is having partial seizures. My son has those too and takes medication for controlling them, but it took an EEG ordered by the ped neuro before we had proof he was having up to 300 of these a day. It was no wonder he couldn't concentrate, he was having uncontrolled seizures.

It also sound slike maybe she's got asperger's or high functioning autism, but that is something only a diagnotician can tell you for sure. I'm just like you, a concerned mom of a child affected by a devastating disorder, that has me looking for answers. The school is breaking the law by not enforcing her IEP like that I don't know who you would turn to in your area for help but this is a website that you might get some help from:

http://www.wrightslaw.com/

They have all kinds of articles and things about the law and IEP help I wish I had more to offer you but this is the only thing I can think of to maybe help you. We're here for you though, and you're not alone. Don't be so hard on yourself if they do determine she has autism/aspergers because you're not expected to catch everything, the dr's are though, they should have seen it sooner. It's not your fault though, so don't blame yourself okay?