(((David))) Thinking...thinking...of what to say.

Well, I know part of the reason for my struggle with depression is headline news. No, not the headline news we are subjected to by media every day. My OWN headline news.

I fuse with my headlines, my stories. And I do a really good job. What else do people call that? Ah, ruminating. Those stories of my life that go into auto play...without me even trying. I think any of us who fight 'the beast' on a daily basis, understand what that is. Fixating on a thought that does us absolutely no good, whatsoever.

Every day I can count on at least one of my stories occupying my mind. And again, it does absolutely nothing for me but cause stress, anxiety, and depression. That's why I call them my Headlines. BOOM! In my face each day and I get sucked into that headline.

And yes, I can relate to the green light, the yellow light, and the red light. So, you are not alone in that respect. We are alone, though, with our own headlines.

And yes, I agree with you that oftentimes we hear only what we want to hear. Especially with depression. We can tell someone over and over what we think will help them, but oftentimes to that person it sounds like too much work. So they go on to the next suggestion. But of course, our own ideas/solutions don't always work for others.

I'll share what I've been working on, which I have here before...but I have a feeling most take it as...oh yeah, whatever! I've begun practicing Mindfulness (And yes it takes work, patience, and practice but it's also worth it when you reach the place where your headlines are replaced with a calm). Mindfulness is also one of the reasons I've often recommended the book Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff. And there are SO many other good reads out there about mindfulness.

In fact, mindfulness has been recognized by the NIMH as an important tool in lessening those times when a person goes through a major depressive disorder. (Surely a lot of us understand how awful it is to suffer a lengthy major period of depression...not just your ordinary 'I feel like crap' day.) I'm happy to say it has helped with not focusing on my headline news items. And of course, antidepressants, anxiety med, and my wonderful therapist. (A lifetime of living our headline news takes an effort to change.)

Also, NIMH recognizes that self-compassion underlies problems with self-esteem and those of us with depression. We have to learn to love ourselves, and treat ourselves as we do others. Being supportive of ourselves as we try being supportive to others. What a thought, huh? Having compassion for ourselves.

This beast is a bad one (((David))), dear man. I have to tell you, though, when I see your wise words, I feel better. If that helps you any. So when you flail...it just makes me want to wave a magic wand and grant you serenity for the rest of your days. Well, truthfully, anytime someone here is suffering, I wish I had that magic wand. For myself, too!

Like you, I try to find the beauty in every day life because it is there every day to see. That beautiful sky...the wind rustling through the trees...flowers...you know, all of those things.

And I'm really rambling here. We care for you David. You're a wonderful part of this community.