Hi Kathy,

You've found one of the keys many of us use in coping daily with chronic/intractable pain. Here's a link to an article I wrote about others.... just about 3 years ago. (I've been meaning to revise/update it.)

http://tinyurl.com/2c642oa

Awareness of what pain is, how it works, and what it does to us both physically and mentally are, IMO, very helpful - knowledge is power.

Other useful knowledge I've found:
Google: stages of grief
Google: chronic pain vicious cycle

Doc