Even just knowing you to be there is comforting. This evening our twins, the eldest of our children, identical boys...... actually young men returned home early. Our eldest was deep in the middle of a psychogenic seizure, eyes rolling, swinging his head from side to side, something he has not had to endure for months, but all too familiar to us not to realize its certainty.

He has been observed at the university med center, where the DX was certain not epileptic, but ever so real in manifestation as the culmination of so many psychoses coincide to torment him into stupefying seizure. Wailing, crying, mumbling he does not want to live over and over as he endures the seizure.

Such a beautiful young man [ok handsome ] and brought from brilliance to.... this. We worry for him, pray for him, have him in front of either psychologist or psychiatrist every week. Meds do help, but the holding of our son as he goes through one of these is enough to rip any parent's heart strings away and leave tatters where we would like to experience joy and know he may as well.

Never alone, we keep keen eyes on him, our goals including the re-establishment of our financial resources so as to fully provide for him into the future once we are gone.

These moments are so ......hard...... and we pray,
Even now,
Praying,
Mark56