thank you for your kind words.. I live kinda by a canyon.. and there is a very peacful spot up there that may be good.. thanks for the idea.. I also have 2, children one is 2 the other 4.. but my other babies just hurt so much I can bearly take care of them cut I'm so broken. Why my babies I want to be with my babies so bad.. I can't cry.. in a way I don't know how to cry.. I usually cut.. to relieve emotional pain.. even tho it hurts like the worst pain iv ever had in my life I can't cry..