Hi, Marie. Thanks for the reply. The trazodone is what worries me- because it just says "1 or 2 pills as needed." Does that mean that apparently I take it often enough that now I "need" it every night? It isn't that I take my meds "willy-nilly". Its just that I forget sometimes. SOMEtimes. I'm pretty good about it, actually.

I guess I will call the dr. tomorrow again. I asked BF tonight what he thought I should do- if I should consider it a brain malfunction because of the meds or what. He said he didn't know anything about meds, but that he thinks I need to fix what needs fixed in my life- meaning I need my own place and a good-paying job. The thing is, this is a depressed episode I guess. Mostly, I am just fine. I am happy with my job, and the people in it. I feel productive with creative endevors.... It just doesn't add up to enough money to live on my own. And at 35 I really need to do that. He did point out that I've been in a bad marriage, divorced, and then living with my irking mother.... (I'm sitting there listening thinking "Wow. He knows more about me than I thought-- or rather, than he's ever said in one sitting!") He also said the baseline of your brain gets set to "depressed" and it needs to be reset by more happy events. I think it gets practiced chemically to "go there". Why it is still able to "go there" when I'm on meds to physically make it NOT go there, I don't know. I for sure, have not missed my celexa lately. Gosh- my breasts are making colostrum again- and they said that's from the celexa!

Anyway, he is going through changes in his life too and is realizing that he/we just watch tv every night after work (I go over to his place several nights a week), none of this work will get done.

Off to take meds. I haven't visited this board in ages. I think I'll go poke around for a few....