Hi bobby, Oh I am not brave at all really. I just scrape by and come here for the same reasons you do. I struggle with the depression too. I miss my career, being able to walk good, all kinds of stuff. I read for escape all the time, and burry myself in that book, to where all things negative slide away.
I try not to beat on myself, none of us ask for these conditions we have. I come here and talk and give comfort, in that way it helps me to remember I am not alone, that others suffer as I do. It also humbles me, that so many have worse conditions than I do. I try to treat myself kindly. So much time revolves around doctors visits, it ticks me off. I tell my body parts to take a number, I'll get to you when I can. I lack motivation too. I am also gaining weight which I worked hard to loose, as my activity level as gone down as the conditions wosen in my feet and ankles. I am just like you, struggle, pray, help others, move on to the next thing. I just refuse to let the depression beat me down again. I take Saraline to help too. My support at home is really good, and the friends I have made here right on NT, have helped me to cope.
I am going to go to the store and see if there are some more of those oranges. Just the color is a happy color. Keep trying to distract yourself, and tell your self kind things. I am always here, to listen, I do care. None of it is easy, no matter what ails us. We are a family here bobby, and we can support each other through space and time right here.
I also found something really beautiful yesterday. go to Google and look up Virtual choir. There is a conductor named Eric Whitacre. He directed 2,000 people through space to sing together. It connected the whole world in song. It made me cry, and appreciate all the races coming together, instead of fighting. 48 countries were joined. That music lifted me up to a higher place, and brough some peace. If you can, listen to it, and let me know what you think. ginnie The name of one of the songs was called Sleep, and there were 5 lulabys of Jewish heritage that were beautiful!