Oxycodone and the liquid oxynorm (for breakthrough pain) ... God where do I start ? I was on 12 hour release 40mg OxyContin and I missed a dose. Within a couple of hours I was going through withdrawal.

The withdrawal frightened me so much that I decided to stop. I sent all tablets back to the chemist and at midnight on a Wednesday I took a 5ml dose of oxynorm.

I went to hell and back .. Serious sweats and chills .. I had to take about six baths a day to warm me and settle me. My legs and arms were jerking about and I could not shut my eyes no matter how tired I was. I had no appetite whatsoever .. Very unlike me, but I forced myself to drink smoothies and eat plain toast because I knew I had to keep my strength up. I had no strength .. My daughter had to wash my hair for me as I had no energy.

It seems so long ago now ... march last year, but I still get anxious when I think about it .. And it has left me with panic attacks, which I never used to get.

On the Saturday of that week, I looked at the bottle of oxynorm on the table and thought, one teaspoon of that and I will feel ok .. And that's when I thought, Jesus, you sound like an addict.

I emptied the bottle I the garden. .. No, the plants didn't die! And sat it out .. It took a good two weeks before I felt able to think normally.

I had surgery last week and the pain specialist came and asked if I would like to try OxyContin .. You can imaginenwhatnimsaid.

The funny thing is, I said I felt I had been addicted to it .. He said, when you have chronic pain there is no such thing as addiction, just dependency. I thought they sounded both the same ..