Hullo Amy Marie -
I'm Amy too! And my 52 yr old hubby was in downhill skiing accident 1/31/11. I'm sorry you're going thru so much right now, at the same time, relieved because it sounds like your husband is actually doing fairly well - relatively speaking. My hub has been off work for 13 months and no sign of going back anytime soon (praying he will in 2013, but we'll see).

I TOTALLY understand your frustration with dh inability to comprehend his injury and consequences to not protecting himself from further damage or just from allowing situations where he is setting himself up for a set-back.

My advice to you.... take a breath. Now, breath deeper. Chill out and realize there is only so much you can do in this situation. What you need to be is calm, quiet and firmly assertive when the time is right. Arguing will prove to be counter-productive (as it usually is).

Our men are used to "pushing" thru any difficulty, sickness or injury sustained thus far in life, right? I know mine was. He believed sick days at work should be used when you felt GOOD and wanted to play on a beautiful spring day! It may take him time to understand that this is not something you "Push" thru.

Print out the TBI guide if you haven't already. Have a copy available for him to read - maybe highlight some of the key points. Then send a copy to his parents - maybe they'll get a clue (maybe not thought! lol)

I am about ready to give up. For how can you help someone who does not want to help themselves? Yikes! You need to read the TBI guide and watch the video You Look GReat on you tube. Then you need to really try to understand .... your husband has BRAIN damage. he is NOT thinking clearly or properly. His judgements right now are off. You need to understand this is a process of acceptance, understanding and healing - he will take TIME and you need to be by his side calmly supporting him whenever and however you can.

Being blamed for his not feeling well due to the couch issue ---- not surprised. YOU need to understand that he DOESN"T understand what is going on. He most likely NEEDS to blame something else for his feeling bad because that is a whole lot easier to deal with than thinking "omg I have BRAIN damage". Can you imagine if it was your brain? You wouldn't want to believe it either!

My hub still struggles with finding something to blame for a symptom or setback or whatever. We have evolved to him saying "I think such and such caused me to feel whatever". Then he'll look at me to see if I agree. I just calmly state "no, it's because of your injury". He doesn't like it, but is finally "getting" it.

If your husbands healing takes a considerable amount of time, he will most likely be forced to accept and admit that he has a serious problem and will turn to you or others for advice and answers.

I'd be happy to give you my email address if you'd like to stay in touch. I check out the forums every few days or so.

Mark is right directing you to the support group by you. I'd really encourage you to check it out.