Oh, I completely understand how you feel! I went for 15 months without a diagnosis, and that was the hardest part. I worried people would think I was faking or imagining or somehow emotionally generating my symptoms. I worried that my doctors, who couldn't find anything wrong with me for a long time, would tell me my problem was psychological. I felt guilty about hoping for a diagnosis, since you're not supposed to want to be sick. But for me, the not knowing was really hard to take.

Yesterday I had a routine visit to my neurologist. My symptoms are so variable that he has never seen me more than mildly weak before. I got really weak sitting in the waiting room, and when he called me to the exam room, I tried to stand up and ended up slowly sinking to the floor (into a squat). I struggled in, with the help of my husband. He talked to me for about half an hour. By the end of the visit I was much stronger. He tested my leg strength and I was pretty much normal. Luckily, he knows about MG or else what would he think? Half an hour ago I couldn't stand or walk, and now my leg strength is normal. The same thing happened to me long before I got diagnosed, during an ER visit.

Take care of yourself, especially if you get a cold or sore throat. Journal, if you can--write down your symptoms every day and their severity, and anything that might have set them off (what you ate, how you slept, if you're sick, if you're under stress, what activities you did, the weather--anything you can think of). Even before you get a diagnosis, finding patterns will help you learn to manage what's going on, or at least what to expect. That takes some of the anxiety out of it. Hang in there. Ask questions. We're rooting for you.

Abby