I was released on Friday to return to work, which was a shock b/c of the magnitude of the symptoms I have. Well, I was ready on Monday to go but they called me and said my position wasn't ready yet. I go on tuesday and I did was staple papers. I struggled so badly that I had to leave within 2 hours of being there. While I was there it was a pretty toxic environment to be at it with what I went through with my company. I left b/c I just could not concentrate and my headache was a 8/10. I said, "I'm sorry, but I just cannot be here right now. I feel terrible." They said it's ok and I left. The past few days have been horrible, like they were when I first suffered my accident. I called my doctors office the next morning.

Out of nowhere I've become insanely depressed and I don't know why. I've just felt incredibly lethargic and my mind has been all over the place and in places I don't like. I've become very distant with my family as well, and they hate seeing me like this.

I had a terrible, terrible night yesterday. Around 12:30 my headache went from being a 7/10 to a 15/10. My eyes couldn't focus and I had a very loud ringing in my ears. It hurt so badly that I started yelling in pain and started crying and my Dad just hugged me and told me it was going to be okay. I haven't felt like that since I went to the hospital in August.

What happened later was very traumatic for my Dad to see and I really had no clue what happened until he told what happened. My Dad gets up at 4:30 am and he went into the bathroom and found me laying in the bathtub full of water in my clothes. He tried getting my attention but I wouldn't respond. I eventually looked at him and he started to get teary eyed, and he told me to get out of the tub and I still wouldn't respond. He eventually had to pick me up and he struggled a bit b/c I'm 6'1 245. I guess I told him that I was cold, and I got changed and what not. My Dad said he was seconds away from calling 911 b/c of scared he was. My Dad hugged me before I left and I started to cry and I said, "I can't take this anymore, I want it to go away." I was able to fall asleep until 7am this morning b/c of my head. One of the worst nights of my life...