Sort version! I've ADHD, anxiety, PTSD from childhood physical and sexual abuse and getting robbed at gunpoint as an adult. (Depression is possibly bi-polar as I'm sometimes *over* happy and confident... but this wasn't confirmed, just suggested to me by a therapist years ago)

Here's the problem. I was raised in a family that didn't *believe* in the above things. So when the school said I had ADHD when I was 12, my parents took me out to home school me, did not medicate me, and figured that slapping me around would set me straight. Got married at 21. Had terrible terrible depression and flashbacks as I moved away from my parents at that time and I started remembering things. I went to two therapists, but then couldn't afford it so I stopped.

Fast forward. Now I'm 30 and haven't had a real job in years. When I did, I'd have panic attacks and call in to work, cry on my breaks, jab pencils into my skin, etc. We've been struggling this whole time, but now it's just so bad! But the whole time I thought I could just "push thru it." I've been totally delusional and I see that now. I was just so afraid of loosing control..... anyway. The problem is, looking back over my history, I think I really "should have" seen about medication earlier, and also seen about getting onto SSI.

*Here's the Issue*
Because of all of the mental problems, I have no concept of time, and I forget things and I have a hard time keeping track of paperwork. So. I don't know what my past therapists names where, or when I saw them. Because I've been without a normal job for so long, I've lost track of a bunch of places I've worked - including people who fired me because I was bringing my emotions to work with me, or who let me go because I was pulling my hair out at work (literally). O_O

Now, there is a chance that I will go in to the Doctor tomorrow, he will send me to pdoc, I will get a prescription and "everything will be ok" but... I know that pills don't teach skills, and I know I need to train my *life*, no matter what. And I know there's not a "cure" in those bottles. Just help. hopefully.... Either way though, I'd like to get the ball rolling, and if I *DO* miraculously get "better" then: awesome! But if not... this will at least keep me off the street. So what do I do??? Is it like starting over again, even though it's been "known" for years that I have these issues and that they effect me? Do I have to see a psychologist and psychiatrist for a year or something more before I file? And how am I supposed to do this with little money in-pocket and no insurance?