I could take her out of school, and I know that alone will be hard for her because it was such a big deal for her to get in to this school because it's a visual artsy early college program and she's such a gifted visual artist. The thing is that she will lose that, BUT she's already losing it because she is failing.

I absolutely have asked her what she wants to do because I agree that with her age, she should have a good amount of input and choice in her diagnosis and treatment. She is open to seeing a new psych or short term hospitalization.

I wish she had the motivation and focus to commit to an online school, but unless I hold her hand every step, at THIs time c I don't know if she can/will with her focus issues. But again, she's already doing poorly in school. We are currently about two months, maybe a little less? From the end of the school year and my hope (I realize this sounds selfish, but I assure you it's love) is that if we use the steps the teachers gave us in the parent teacher conference they insisted on this week, maybe she can pull it out and at least finish the semester with SOME credit since she's not going to get ANY for her time the way things are going.

It's really hard, I admit to be mom AND advocate because I really don't know what will help and what will hurt as far as trying to tie up ends.

So...now I have to decide, how will I find a good psych? The ones we've been to over the years have been unable to help in any significant way and they were referrals from current care providers.

Honestly,I'm feeling like these child psychiatrists that we've been dealing with aren't equipped and I just honestly worry we'll just spin our wheels even trying to FiND an outpatient diagnosis and treatment plan.

No, he has not been diagnosed and honestly, given how sick my mom stays from denial of treatment and added drug abuse, I WISH I were off base, but even he seems to be convinced she is bipolar or something very similar.

I have told her not to be afraid, she does NOT have to stay sick "like grandma" if we get her dx and tx early and well.

Anyway, I may try to look at options for outpatient before seriously considering impatient if possible. We really are very close and besides her not feeling well, having her issues, things are good at home and I don't want her to HAVE to be gone if its not necessary.

The harm to others has not come up since we addressed it with the psych and therapist about a year ago and I've asked get abOut it. If she's being straight up, which she usually is, she's not having those thoughts at this point, but who knows when/if that comes up again??

Sigh. As her mother, I SO want to do what it takes. Where is the parenting manual I was promised?? Especially the one for special needs children???