Quote:
Originally Posted by Dejibo
My husband has been brave and wonderful. He said "you dont have MS its a case of WE have MS." aww! in my opinion is very hard to be the care giver. its very hard to watch someone you love slide towards something you hate.
Can you designate days off for him? Send him out to a ball game, or a man's night out? He needs to find time to refill his cup and be able to start giving from a full cup, instead of scraping out dust from the bottom of his.
its so important to keep up the care giver meetings, or if you feel that he isnt getting anything out of them, find a new one, or even go to couples counseling. Its really hard to figure out your new roles when the traditional ones dont exist anymore.
I wish you the best of luck .  |
As I mentioned in a post a little while ago; we would have to pay an aide $25 an hour, which we cannot afford. Also, I am VERY disabled and need help with 90% of ADLs; meaning the aide would have to help me do almost everything; including use a Hoyer lift to transfer me and most aides are NOT happy to be assigned someone like me. I don't want to offend by making a generalization, but hiring an HHA from an agency for a one-shot time or even a few times (so DH can go out by himself to do something) means I am getting a stranger who must come into my house and take care of all of my most personal needs plus do work such as cooking lunch, cleaning up, etc. and I have yet to find one who was pleasant and accomodating. Most have done the least work possible and a few have even shown annoyance that I am "bothering them" when I ask them to perform a task. It's very demeaning and dehumanizing for me. Mind you, I am not meek-and-mild and do not let anyone abuse me or push me around; but it's still very unpleasant.
My DH already belongs to two hobby groups and attends meetings in the evenings twice a month. We already go to counselling. It's not that he is resistant to helping me, it's that I am the one who is emotionally and mentally "strong" and he is a mess. I never thought that he would be the type to fall apart. Sigh...
