I completely understand your feelings and it is definitely a tough spot to be in. Every person in this type of situation needs to make the decision that they feel is best for them (and it will not be the same for everyone). I will give you some of my opinions on the situation and hope that they can help you see the situation in a different way through the eyes of someone not as personally involved.

First off...I would not get a lawyer involved at this point and hopefully you will never have to. If you educate yourself about your rights so that you are not taken advatage of then it may never be necessary to get a lawyer involved. It's always important to get the advice of someone you trust before you do anything (I talk with my dad a lot as he has worked on the HR side at a business and has had lots of experience with different situations). But generally...if you start off with a lawyer then your employer will get their backs up and see it as confrontational. It's your right to get one if you want...but if you can resolve the situation without getting confrontational then that will be the best way to handle it. But, as I said, you do not want to let them take advantage of you either so you should read through the Americans with Disabilities Act and also look up some examples of reasonable accommodations.

Like I said before...I think your best bet would be to contact HR and officially request unpaid leave so you can get the treatment you need for your disability. In your situation I think it would be unlikely to be a hardship on them to allow this since you have already been off for periods of time. Talk with your doctor, realistically, about how much time you need to get the treatments you need so you can get yourself to a point where you can go back to work and then get a letter from them saying you need this time off. Get this to HR, along with your request for the unpaid time off, and that will be a starting point. I personally think you will be less of a liability to them if you wait to come back until you are really able to...especially in a field where mistakes could have life threatening consequences.

This should open up communication between you and your employer about accommodations. Hopefully they would be able to accommodate the unpaid leave and then you would keep your benefits and could focus all your energy on getting yourself better so that you can return to work. If they cannot accommodate that, however, you can talk about other options. Maybe, while you are undergoing treatment they could move you into another temporary position that would be less physically demanding (less hours, less physical activity, etc) or maybe they could accommodate scheduling things like if you have to work a long day that you are off the day after to recover. Or maybe you work the long day but you have to get breaks at certain intervals for certain periods of time where you could give yourself treatments (like heat, physical therapy exercises, meditation, TENS, ultrasound...whatever helps you). These are just some of the different things that they might be able to accommodate if unpaid leave is not an option. But the bottom line is that if you have a permanent disability, they are required to provide you with accommodations that will not cause an undue hardship on the business.

If you decide to go back to work and need accommodations, think really hard about the things you can and cannot do and also the things that will make it easier for you. It generally doesn't help if you go in and tell them what tasks or specific jobs you can or cannot do. It is more helpful for you to say explain what you NEED to do your job as opposed to focusing on what you can't do. Does that make sense? Something like: I need to do heat therapy treatment for 30 minutes every 4 hours is more helpful than just saying I can't be on my feet for more than 4 hours at a time because it is more specific about what you need to do the job rather than just what you can't do.

When dealing with HR you can sometimes end up working with someone who will really try to work with you and can come up with ideas that maybe you yourself would never have thought were an option. OR...you can sometimes end up working with someone who will try to make you absolutely miserable and push to the absolute edge of whatever restrictions you have to make you miserable. That's part of the reason why you should focus on your needs rather than on what you can't do. If they provide you with things that will ALLOW you to do your job then you are better off. If you say you can't do a certain task then they will put you in the worst job they can think of that falls in that category. Not saying this happens every time (I said some people are helpful and not this way) but there are too many of the latter who try to make you miserable that it would be foolish not to try to minimize that possibility as much as possible. It's better for you and better for them if you really think these things through with the focus on being able to do the job rather than not being able to do the job. Even when you get one of the good ones you can find yourself in a difficult situation if you just focus on the things you cannot do.

But legally...they cannot just say no to anything you ask for or fire you because you need an accommodation for your disability. Unpaid leave is very reasonable in most situations. At the very least...they are legally obligated to work with you to try to come to a reasonable solution with regards to accomodations. If they cannot provide something then they have to let you know WHY. And if you accept a different accommodation then it has to be just as effective for you as the one you requested. If you partner together you can figure this out.

But what you really really should not do (in my opinion) is just not say anything and put yourself in a worse situation. You have to make them aware of your disability and request any accommodations that will make this situation better for you. They cannot fire you for your disability and if you work together you will most likely be able to come up with something that will work for both sides. Don't let them bully you, but do your best to work with them instead of against them in this process. And trust me...I KNOW how it is when you love your job and don't want to make waves or cause problems. The trouble is...this almost always ends with you in a bigger mess and them getting away with something in the future. Legally they cannot discrimminate against you for your disability but that doesn't stop them from seeing you as a liability if you go back before you are really ready and they will find some valid reason to let you go. Protect yourself and your rights by just following the appropriate steps and working with HR regarding the accommodations you need.

I'm by no means an expert but being in a similar situation (only one that has gotten worse and to the point of me needing to file a charge of discrimmination with the EEOC) I have done a lot of research on this. There are a lot of people who wait too long and then they no longer have the option of going to the EEOC or just assume that even though things are unfair that there is nothing they can do...and that's just not right. Hind sight is always 20/20 and you don't want to end up years later wishing you had done things differently just because you were afraid to rock the boat. Protect your health, try to protect your benefits and your job, etc by doing the right things now.

I hope some of that is helpful to you...or at least that you have a better understanding of what your rights are under the ADA. Check out the EEOC website at www.eeoc.gov. Like I said...every situation is different and what is right for one person is not right for another...you just need to think it all through and make whatever decision is best for you and your family. Don't make the decision that you think is best for your employer...that never ends well when you put their needs and desires above your own in these sorts of situations. Take care and good luck. Remember that your health is not something so easily replaced. Even if you were to lose your job...a job can be replaced. But if you lose your health...that is not so easy.

Oh...and one more thing. If you can work...or strongly believe that with treatment and recovery that you will be able to go back to work and the need to not work is only temporary then I wouldn't start any sort of social security disability proceedings. We all may end up there one day but until you reach the point where you CANNOT work and it is no longer temporary then you should not apply for disability. I'm sure others might not agree...but that's how I feel about it.