WOW!, Jim091866. I feel for YOU. I was DXd at age 38, with symptoms at age 34 in 1996. Eventually, I lost everything - health, 2 jobs, marriage, 401k, ability to play music, car, home of 20 years. I now live in a crappy 1 bedroom apartment. Actually, I don't really "live". I just "exist" - mostly in front of the TV, sitting there "remembering" and longing for better days. Yeh, a couple of suicide attempts for me as well. I took whole bottles of xanax & ambien, etc, enough to kill 3 or 4 people, but it barely phased me. I have no idea why I'm still alive. I guess it's going to take a Mack truck to do the job, which isn't entirely off the table. I am trying to keep my head up, tho. I just try to look forward to a better drug/treatment. Been screened once, so far, for DBS thru the VA at San Francisco. They told me that I drink too much to qualify. They said they didn't want me to fall down drunk and break "their hardware". Made me wonder exactly "when" does "their hardware" become "my hardware"? I was more or less under the impression that it would be all MINE as soon as it was installed. So, they tasked me to complete a 60 day 12-step program--3 days per week for the 1st month; then, 2 days per week for the 2d month. I told them that if I could commit to and achieve that kind of schedule, I'd hardly be "disabled", and I'd have a job. I don't even have a car.
My old VA doc just retired, and I have a new neurologist at the VA. She has set up an appointment (today at 2pm) for me to see a DBS specialist right here in Indpls - at the I.U. Medical Center. I'm thinking things are going to be different this time. I've cut back on my drinking. At any rate, I'm still not especially enthused with the whole DBS thing. I am, however, keeping an open mind about it. Actually, I'd much rather try that treatment developed by the now defunct German firm--X-Cell.
Keep your head up.