I'm so sorry LillyCat. I don't really have much to add to Mari's suggestions. Mostly wanted to say hello, and that I feel for you. It does sound like you are doing what can be done. It must indeed be incredibly frustrating, and painful.

I hope you can find a place that is good and yet as you say affordable. Goodness knows medical facilities are almost as bad as lawyers as far as reducing a bank account to smithereens. Are you sure there is no way to demonstrate a need for aid, despite your income, based on your situation and needs - i.e. the extenuating costs you face? Perhaps NAMI would know of some route for financial support.

'Sending best wishes for your daughter's recovery and to you as well. Take care.

~ waves ~