KDH,
I know my husband feels the same way. Seldom does he not know how I feel. But it is better after 2 1/4 years, because we have both learned how to deal with the pain. Doesn't mean he's never frustrated, because just yesterday he had to drive me 75 miles to the Dr so I could get a shot of pain reliever because my pain was out of my control.
Just the fact that you are on here looking for answers, shows your desire to help. Keep yourself updated on RSD/CRPS, there is plenty of reading material.
Even though affection is difficult, it is necessary, more than ever. She needs to know you are not going to abandon her as she needs you more than ever. Your worlds have been turned upside down, figuring what your new life looks like is a journey, a process, not an overnight redo.
With prayers for peace and pain relief,
pat