I'm going to reply to both of your responses in two separate posts. I can't get my phone to multi-quote them for some reason.

I've never tried to knit or crochet. It looks like it would be fun. My concern is the thinking that is involved in learning a new skill/activity. When people try to show me how to do something...my brain gets put into a confused state. I think my grandma knows how to knit or crochet...maybe I'll ask her.

I can't even write words on a blank piece of paper without getting messed up. When I go to a new doctor, I write my symptoms down on a piece of drawing paper. This does me in pretty good. Not as bad as filling out a form.

But, to answer your question, I've never been good at drawing...so I draw pretty basic things. Sometimes just stick figures. I tried to color in a children's coloring book the other day and got overstimulated fast.[/quote]

Anything except very, very soft, music. I can listen to like nature sounds and very soft melodies. Anything else is too much for me.

Everyone knows that writing is the easiest way to express one's self. It is much different than speaking...you can take your time with what you write. Its taken me months and months of this to be able to text, email and post FROM MY PHONE without getting overloaded. Now that I think about it, that's probably one of my only accomplishments/improvements.

BTW, even though I type very fast...it takes me anywhere from 45-60 min to write something out like this. It takes me awhile to come up with the words to write down. I'm also a perfectionist...I do my best to make sure there are no errors. Always been that way.

I understand this. I don't mind if I ever go back to my pre-morbid self. I just want things to become STABLE...so I can get used to the way things are. I'm not lying
when I say my cognitive symptoms are flip-flopped. They never stay the same...even if I chill for 3 days and do nothing but mild writing on here or emails (that doesn't effect me at all). I can wake up one day hardly able to speak at all...when this happens, I say okay, I'm having a bad day so I need to rest. I rest all day and wake up the next with even MORE problems. So, it gets bad, worse and then worse again before I have one "okay" day. Then the cycle starts over. Its so ridiculous.

My threshold is NEVER the same. How can you move on with you life when the amount you can handle changes on a daily basis? One day I could walk a half mile with my girlfriend and kids. Two days later, I'll try to walk around my apartment complex and get overstimulated as soon as I walk out the door. That's why I asked DOES IT EVER BECOME STABLE? If it will, I can work-around my flaws. No problem.

My heart goes out to those people. I know how they feel.

Its hard to believe that I'm not getting worse. My symptoms didn't show up at all for 3 months...that's confusing but understandable. After they showed up, I was able to watch TV, play video games and communicate very well still. My life was great. In November...my ability to watch TV and play video games diminished. This was a big change. It went from being NO problem at all to screwing me up within seconds of watching or playing. Its hard to believe that I'm not getting worse with a drastic change like that. That has not gotten better since it happened.

I've never heard of someone playing a video game all day causing permanent damage. That just doesn't add up.

The beginning of this month...I woke up and my communication skills were diminished. They were bad as it is...but now they are horrible. The return of confusion and easy overstimulation. My ability to drive is gone...if I try to drive just up the street my brain shuts down. I almost crashed my mom's car. I used to be able to drive for 20 minutes without a problem. When I say used to, I mean last month.

I'm not getting hit in the head. I doubt the small things such as simply texting and posting on here is making me permanently worse. I'm not playing video games or watching TV. My days are pretty much like this...I stay home and hang with the kids...We might go for a walk around the complex or around the block. I occasionally make something to eat. I have small talk with my girlfriend. If we have an errand to run, like a doctor's appointment or a trip to Welfare, we take the bus there. It just don't make sense how these simple tasks can be making me worse.

I don't have enough work credits for SSDI, but, I qualify for SSI and I'm awaiting approval from them (they take forever). My UE has run out...completely...so working on my car is out of the question until I get approved for SSI. We have a plan (me and Tara) to move out of my mom's. Our steps to accomplish that are her finding a job and me getting approved for SSI. Everything is pretty much on hold until then.[/quote]

So, this could be the answer to your previous question about tasks that I can check off. I can do that...there just isn't much to do around here. Besides shower, make breakfast, lunch, dinner, clean the room, living room, etc. I can make a list of those things. My girlfriend usually does all that (except shower for me lol)...because she let's me hang in the room and rest in complete silence. She takes care of me.

Okay, I'll try that. Thanks a lot.

Wow this reponse did a number on me. It took me over an hour to finish this. I'm going to take a break before I respond to the other one.