It was good to walk into the santuary and sit near those whom I love and refer to others as family. My mom turned and gave me a smile, pleased to see that I had made it. Her fear, was that she wouldnt have a way home. I could see that she was anxious about her surgery tomorrow on her left knee. I looked to the pulpit, heard the praise team singing what sounded like a new song, the suddenly the words sounded familiar to me. As I sat on that pew all by myself, turn to your neighbor the pastor said and say "God is not threw with me yet". No one was there as this was no longer shocking to me. The word came forth and it was good. It was about being on the vine, the pastor talked about how much God loves us, even more than our earthly father could. How he prunes us, lifts us, preparing us to bring forth more fruit. When he said that my ears lit up, it was as if I was hearing for the first time. So, I asked God. I asked him to heal my mom, and all those who may be in pain or need healing from what ever. To feed, cloth and shelter those who have not. I asked him more importantly for myself. I asked God, to stop the pain, the confusion, to fill the void, the emptyness and lonelyness. I asked God, to fix those things that have my life turned upside down, the things that I have done that has placed me where I am. I asked God to fix my financial situation, to restore my health. I asked God, for help, I put my heart on the altar. I didnt care that I had no one sitting next to me, I didnt care that when I left, I'd still be leaving alone even tho my mom and sister would be riding with me, I didnt care that tears where streaming down my face. I asked God. I asked him not for what I wanted, but for what I needed. I asked God