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Originally Posted by Mark in Idaho
There are a couple of things you can try.
First, get a white board for your refrigerator or where-ever you will notice it. have you wife and kids put notes on it. We have two. One is for notes for me. the other is for notes to my wife. If I make a note for her on a piece of paper, I will likely forget to give her the piece of paper. By knowing I have the white board, all notes to her go there. She does the same for me. For a while in January, i was struggling to remember what day it was. She would write it on my white board.
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Excellent advice. We were in the midst of gutting/remodeling our kitchen when the accident happened. We have walls, wiring, and water now, so as we fix the kitchen we are trying to take my needs into account by creating what I need.
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btw, Anybody else have this problem? if I spend a day thinking it is the wrong day, I end up out of sync for the rest of the week or until I have enough reminders to get my brain calendar right.
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THis happens to me frequently. The children are between houses every other week. So our kid-free week is my re-boot time. It is also one of the days of the week (Monday is switch day) that I can start over and know what day it is. Thursdays are another day, as it is a farm delivery day (we make deliveries from our farm to area restaurants -- of course, I can't do that, but am aware which day it is). Outside of that, I get confused. The re-boot days help.
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Research shows that PDA/smart phones can be very useful to people with cognitive/memory struggles. I use the three alarms on my cell phone to remind me of important times. If I have a 11:00 dentist appointment and it takes 15 minutes to get there, I start my alarm at 10:00. This is for me to have time to figure out what is on the white board, Then, I have a reminder at at 10:20 to prepare me to be ready to leave. If I am involved in a task, I know to stop and get started getting ready to leave. Then, at 10:35 or 10:40, the alarm sounds telling me to leave.
It works well for me because otherwise, I will have too much to do last minute before I can leave.
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This is a great idea. I have 2 alarms to remind me when to meet the school bus at the end of the driveway for our youngest (half-day of school). I am not driving yet, so the other alarms don't apply yet. My wife builds my doc appts around her work and the farm schedules.
We have started to use a Cozi calendar /shopping list on our phones. They sync with each other. That way I can immediately add something we need or I can see what the day looks like. Unfortunately, I often forget to check. A daily routine may help?
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I also put things by the door so I have to step over them before going out. Harder to forget, but I still do sometimes. I get annoyed, Who put that in front of the door?
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Unfortunately, our house is still a construction zone. My wife has cleaned areas so that it is safer for me, but it is future good idea.
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It helps if your family understands all of your symptoms and limitations. Not necessarily so they pick up the load but so they can direct/remind you without being frustrated.
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Child #5 (5 y/o) told me that he wants to learn to read because I have a "cussion" and he can read to me. He also will explain to me each step of doing something, whether it is needed or not. The other children are pretty good about it -- reminding each other to be quiet or to help with tasks that I would usually do. I feel most sorry for my wife who is taking on her tasks and mine and has to deal with someone who can't remember if we discussed something once or ten times.
It is hard at times to remember that just because I am not wearing a cast or have visible injuries, doesn't mean that I am not injured.
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If you struggle to read, try using paper to hide the text above and below the lines you are trying to read. Your eyes may get overloaded with too many letters and word.
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breaking everything up on the page like this has helped tremendously! I will try to do that on the page.
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the problem with the PCS brain is it loses its ability to filter out extraneous information. It hears all of the background sounds. It sees all of the background images.
I just call my wife "Sweetie" because it takes too much cognitive effort to pull up her name, Yvonne. her name has an abstract connection to her. Sweetie has a defining connection to her.
You may find that you can pull words out of the air by looking around and in your mind, naming things you see. It can cause your brain to sort through memory areas that have the word you are looking for. Another trick I use is a bit odd. If I can't find a word or name, I start to release the thought of trying to find the word. Just before I introduce a new thought, sort of during the pause between thoughts, I will often find the word I was looking for. It sounds weird but it works.
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My best friend is deaf and I was fluent in ASL (until I moved away 5 years ago). I find that I can immediately sign a word, but not speak it. I also find that I the first letter of a word will come out, but then I'm stuck. I see the image of what I want in my brain (if it is an object), or feel the first letter (dddd) if it is a description, but struggle beyond that. I stutter quite a bit at times.
The other day the septic guy was here and asked if I had a toilet running. I was trying to tell him that I had the laundry going. I ended up pointing to the clothes line and tugging at my clothes and saying "clothes. clean. me." I was so frustrated that I even threw in a foot stomp somewhere in there. I had explained to him, before this conversation, that my brain was injured, so be patient. Of course in a tiny area (largest local town is 700), he already knew about the accident.
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I have lots of other tricks and work-arounds. The most important skills is learning how to clear your mind of distractions so you can focus on the task at hand. I will stop everything and close my eyes to help me find a focus. At first, it may takes quite a bit of effort to Stop and Think but as you learn these skills, you will get better at clearing your mind so you can Stop and Think.
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Stop and Think is easiest when it is just me or me and the computer or me and my wife. It is when anything new is thrown into the mix that I get frustrated and confused. I know that I will eventually have to leave the safety of my house, or respond to customers who come to the door....
A local woman had a tbi about 5 years ago and stopped by recently. I don't remember much about the conversation. But she did tell me that she would explain to people her situation, which helped a lot -- that way when she got confused, they were more understanding.
I try to daily record things that happen so that I can see progress/tell my doctor (i.e. septic guy).
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Tell us more. We're here to help.
My best to you.
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Again, this forum has been a lifesaver. I was soooooo upset and depressed about all of this. It has been hard to go from where I was to where I am. I am still trying to see it in a positive light, but it is quite frustrating.