Originally Posted by Dr. Smith

Hi Linda,

I know where you're coming from, but please don't sell them, or yourself, short. The people you love, and who love you most, have the greatest capacity for understanding & compassion.

If it's the descriptive language that's difficult to put into words, try googling: describe pain. There you'll find words and language to help describe it to both doctors and loved ones.

If it's a matter of comprehension, everyone has had incidents of pain in their lives, both physical and emotional. Think about those times and try to analogize. "Remember that time when ______. Remember the pain and emotions you felt? How bad it hurt and no-one else could understand? Now imagine feeling (like) that every day of your life. Well... that's how I feel, Sweetheart."

That's blunt and oversimplified, but I think you get the idea. Analogizing - putting things into terms people can understand and relate to from their own experiences - is often a powerful learning/teaching tool.

I think it's also important to be aware that our loved ones often seem to behave as if they're ignoring or forgetting about our pain. If they seem to be ignoring it, it may be because they don't want to be the reminders; they don't want to make you feel bad/worse by bringing things up. They may also be trying to distract you from thinking about it because distraction is a legitimate and effective way of coping with chronic pain. If it seems that they forget how much pain you're in, that may be a good thing too. That may mean you're doing a good job of coping, and putting those around you at ease rather than uncomfortable and on edge. Though we may be victims, I think it's best that we don't play the part of victims - that we don't accept that role (but from what I've read, I think you already know that. ).

I hope we can talk more about this,

Doc