That is the question this Easter morning. I haven't been to church for almost 7 months. This is no small deal. Corporate worship was the central part of my week for forty years. It's a lot of long stories.

But I've had it in my mind that I can go for Easter worship service. Not the breakfast, not the Bible study/Sunday School...just for the worship service! My theory: if I get all ready and don't go, so what?

I took my shower, put together my least uncomfortable "outfit", and now I'm sitting here thinking that I'm already tired and mind-boggled, and church doesn't even start for another hour.

The larger issue I'm sitting here struggling with is that of when do we push ourselves and when do we not? When do I agree that it's good to push ourselves sometimes, to "fight back" so to speak. When do I simply say "I can't, I don't want to, I don't feel like it" and perhaps miss out on either a good time or a personal victory?

I go back and forth, back and forth. People say, "I want to do everything I can while I still can, even if I pay for it later." And I nod my head; yes, you're right. Then I hear people say, "I'm always sorry when I push myself. I know my limits and I'm not going to make myself sick trying to push it."

*sigh

I need to be out the door in about 50 minutes, and I want to/don't want to. Maybe this is easier for people who don't have decision-making issues in the first place.