I don't think he's adverse to therapy, he just doesn't want to be needing it and doesn't like to be reminded that he does. I can imagine it would be kinda depressing. Other than that he does seem to be grateful and seems positive, certainly not fighting it at all, just likes to act "cool". Needing therapy is probably not "cool" to a young man.

When he was in the hospital and just off the ventilator, it was easy to see he needed toys and gadgets to figure out so I always made sure his hands and busy mind were occupied when he got restless. (This also helped him to not pick at his lines and staples so much.)

As soon as he figured out one gadget or toy it was forgotten. Within about 10 days he could beat me at playing rummy, and a few days later he beat me at chess! I admit I'm rotten, having not played either since he was little, but that he beat me was enormous!! Had to take some pretty good attention and planning and concentration skills, besides just old memory. I cried for joy!! He loved putting together picture puzzles and playing a handheld Tetris game, but hasn't touched either since being home with his computer. I know he needs a new hobby that involves more learning for him than old memory; the hard part is finding something to interest him.

He keeps moving forward and now that he's home he keeps himself busy with games and movies and cooking. So anyway, just to say that I'd been providing "therapy" of sorts for him, by simply engaging him in activities. (It was cool to see the hospital speech therapist doing the same things I'd already done with him, working on simple math and organizing cards.) Maybe now it's time I put him to work doing house chores and yard work instead of being soooo easy and not pushing him, a little work instead of just play?

I'm sorry you had a "mud head" day. I feel a bit muddy / foggy too often, though mine is stress induced; so I can very much appreciate all you say about Nick's anxiety being so detrimental to recovery. Or maybe I'm just getting old. My mind sure isn't the 'steel trap' it used to be. But I'm calmer now at least, learning to accept and move forward with life.

My thought today has been that "accepting" doesn't mean to think that "this is okay", but just that " ** happens and that's life, now just do whatcha gotta do". And doing whatcha gotta do means turning OFF that horrible TV slasher movie in your head about what happened to you. The more I DON'T think about that, the less I cry, and the better I can concentrate on what needs to be done next. You are SO right about just refusing to think about the minute details. So basically acceptance can mean "STFU" and get with the routine. Though I think we often regress in that part of the grief cycle and have to "accept" as soon as we realize that we are slipping back. I can imagine it takes a lot of forgiving oneself, too.
I hope I explained that to make some sense.