dear friends

blessings for the day

my mind
my body
my spirit
are not one
life has slowed
it starts with the mind
then my prayers
my body ready
3 years ago possible
thank you
blessed i am alive
with a body that
wants to follow
i don't know
if i knew i would
i push my body
to its limit
now if that is a good
or bad thing it doesn't matter
i need to do what needs tending
and i fear slowly i won't have
strength or power to do anymore
at times like right now
today not ready yet meds
haven't kicked in i type with
a pencil and use the erasers
end
Lord Jesus you know my heart
life has manifested itself
i am who i am because
of my experiences
grateful i am
as you rule
my earthly lessons
i have but one thing
if at all of what life has
to offer it doesn't cost
anything HAPPINESS
and no one is responsible
for it but me myself and i
it is HAPPINESS
blessed is not a wish
blessed is something i am
aware of
the meds i take
cover just enough
so i can function
i have so much fear
of the idea of anymore
surgeries
and i yet have to finish
the removal of my breasts
the so called spacers need
to come out and put in the
permanent balloons
there are no nerves so
no sensation i opted
not to reconstruct nipples
no need i fed my babies
off of me that is fine
of course i mourn mine
just want it over with
my cane i something
i now need with me
all times my gait has never
been the same after second
surgery
and that water sensation in
my right ear never left as i was
told it would go away
thank you God i am alive
i I me over did it
i will do it again
Dear God
another doctor is on
the back burner
for the pain pump
i do not want to
go under
no more doctors
you are in charge
and i'll keep
praying
i am who i am
just have to
accept it
living in fear
is not a healthy
way of living
yet that is all
i do
i know
not good
it is truth
my blessings were
complaint after complaint
is one reason i refrain
from being negative
this is a place that puts
God before all else
this I believe
let me stop here
thank you for letting me
share