Please don't be embarrassed! Here, you're with people who truly understand AND care.
Believe it or not, your story shows you to be a strong, thoughtful individual.
Here's a link that brought teensy-tiny glimmers of light to me during some very dark times.
http://www.lettersofnote.com/2009/10...y-one-day.html Just maybe it will give you a tiny ray of hope.
I'll be praying for you!
Hugs!