Soccergal - I *totally* understand what you're talking about - especially today! I usually try to be as up beat as possible, but today I had the thought to just give up. Of course, I'm not going to, but 20 months for me (and 2.5 years for you) is a looooong time to wait and try to work towards something better - the way we have become accustomed to being. I feel like it's wearing me down...

Last night I watched a documentary on the life of the Buddha. It was inspirational and relaxing. In watching it, I remembered that there is change for everyone in life and that everyone has desire and that suffering is a fact of life. It's what we do with that suffering and the emotions that come up as a result of these facts that is most important.

The Buddha never claimed he was anything but a mortal man living life on earth - even after his "enlightenment" he felt great sadness sometimes.

But he reminded people to be compassionate towards themselves in times like this because grief and loss are completely natural parts of life.