I never seriously accepted the possibility that I might not recover to the level where I could work again and do some, if not necessarily all, of the things I used to enjoy. This was partly because every time I started to think that way I could feel it would be very dangerous in terms of my mental state and levels of stress and depression. That sort of thinking is like a dark abyss opening up in front of you, and in my opinion every attempt possible should be made to avoid it.

It was also because I was lucky enough that I tended to get a spurt of recovery at least every few months to keep my hopes up. I imagine that this is harder when you have had worse symptoms for longer as in your case

Since I'm talking about Dorothy Gronwall on another thread, here is another quote from her which might make you feel better:-