Victoria,

Consider yourself hugged (gently, of course!)!! And head-patted, back-rubbed, and "ahh-there'd", too! Here, have a Kleenex, wipe your eyes, and take a deep breath, girlfriend, ok? Feeling a tiny bit better, I hope??

That was the compassion, here's the wisdom: for the next several weeks, your mantra should be, "Remember, this too, shall pass!" Recite on getting up in the morning and repeat as necessary throughout the day whenever things start to fray your nerves of steel (er, Rubbermaid? Nylon? Jell-O? Whatever TOS'ers nerves are made of! LOL!)

You've seen that list of life stressors before haven't you, the one that rates the biggest life events and how much stress they place on people? You're dealing with several of them all at once, no wonder you're frazzled! Besides the chronic pain/workman's comp issues already on your plate, you've been living in less than an ideal situation for months, been verbally abused and thrown out of your home. You've had to move yourself without advance notice and little help, and before you soon-to-be-dh had planned on, when I assume some or most of his project madness would have been over, am I right? Now you face another move very soon and a wedding - it's enough to make anyone scream at the next "little thing" added to it, honestly!

So... the mantra thing! And look how far you've already come! Visualize the future when your soon-to-be dh really IS your DH!! (And projects are done!) When the move is completed and your great new life in Calgary is everything you dreamed! You have good reason to be excited! Refuse to let anyone rain on your parade!

OK, now the advice...didn't think you'd get by without that, did you? You need to make this more manageable - people who move have to be organized. TOS'ers who move have to be doubly so. At least we get out of heavy lifting Label a sheet of paper with the day of the week for each day remaining til the move, then make a list of all tasks remaining to be done 1) in Kingston and 2) in Calgary. Tell Marc he HAS to eat, and over a quick meal (deli? Chinese?), look over the list together. Try to prioritize by date, what tasks he will take on, which you can do, and which friends/relatives may assist with (helping load/unload moving van or unpack boxes, etc) Write each task on the day it needs to be done, along with who is going to do it (use blue for him, red for you, etc), then make a copy of these pages for him, maybe a third to post on the fridge or by the phone. Seeing each task crossed off as it is done will help you feel more in control.

Take time to give yourself a little TLC since Marc can't at the moment. Take a bubblebath - add some Epsom salts for those aching muscles. If you have errands to run, take a cappachino break. Break up cleaning or packing sessions with 15 minutes of floor time, either stretching and nerve glides or meditation to some soft, warm music. And surely you and Marc can come up with some interesting "payment" for each time you lose your grip - it ought to be fun just discussing the possibilities, doncha think??

These things WILL get done. You WILL get moved. You WILL get married. WC and the Drs will NOT jump off a cliff, unfortunately. But we will still be here, and we will still love ya, sane or otherwise, LOL!

Many, many cyber-hugs,
beth