Hello prettyinthecity and welcome to NeuroTalk.

I too am happy that your attempt was not successful. Many of us here have lost some-one that way, and as Alffe mentioned, those left behind suffer terribly as a result..... and the ripple effect goes on and on.

Are you being treated for depression or sought professional help since your attempt? If not, may I suggest you consult a doctor and talk to them about the depression. They might give you medications to lift your mood, or they may refer you on for counselling, or both.

In regards to the questions you asked about your relationship/friendship, your ex might understand your actions better if he can see that you are doing something to help yourself so that you don't become that despondent again, but you might need to give him time for any pain you caused to heal. You mentioned that he has moved on, so if it's just a casual friendship that you want from this man, then I hope that your friendship survives but if it's a loving relationship you want with this man, I think you already know that this has ended.

Are you still in Italy and if so, are you staying there or are you planning returning home soon?